Heartmender Read online

  "Happiness! Love! Joy! I have all you want! But how bad do you want it?"

  Though it sounded like the trap Claire had warned me about, I released the tight grip I had on the satchel and was drawn into the crowd. A vendor selling happiness? Was that even possible?

  People crowded uncomfortably close around me, filling the air with a salty stench as the vendor set out his jars. My focus shifted from the foul smell to the colorful, glowing bottles. My breath caught as my lips parted into a smile. Each bottle sparkled like a rare jewel. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt happy. There had been brief moments, mere glimpses, but never full happiness since Lyle disappeared.

  I looked at the gleaming little bottles. Was it really that easy? With one small bottle, could all my troubles be dealt with? The idea rolled through my mind, convincing my heart to proceed. All I needed was happiness, and I would be fine. I nodded. Yes, that sounded right. If I had happiness, I wouldn't need anything else. I wouldn't want anything else. But I knew what I wanted. Happiness meant Lyle never left Barracks. Happiness meant our parents had never died. Happiness meant my grandfather never disappeared, and Nana was healthy. Happiness meant Silas would smile and laugh with me. Happiness meant I was no longer alone.

  My eyes narrowed at the sparkling yellow bottle, blocking out everything around me.

  I wanted it.

  I needed it.

  I wanted it.

  It would be mine.

  Chapter 17

  I pushed through the crowd of people, desperately trying to close in on the happiness. My happiness. These people had no idea what I'd been through. Why should they receive happiness when I deserved it? They had probably never had an ounce of sorrow in their lives, whereas I had lost everything. Everyone.

  The vendor, wearing a gold jacket adorned with shining stones edging the cuffs, asked again, "How bad do you want?"

  A balding, naked man held up one of his shoes, waving it with vivacity. "I have real leather shoes!"

  A growl escaped my lips. A pair of shoes for happiness? Happiness was worth more than that. That man didn't want it as much as I did. He shouldn't get it. Happiness was for me and me alone. Happiness was worth more. It was worth . . . I ran my fingers along my long, pulled-back hair, twirling the strands between each finger. Happiness was worth the price of beauty. My hair had meant something to me, but that didn't matter now. I wanted to be happy, and I would do anything to get it.

  "I have genuine human hair! Never been tampered with!" I yelled loudly, silencing the other cries of payment.

  The entire crowd turned, forming a circle around me as they focused on the long curls cascading down my back. The short, round man from before caught my eye, his eyes widening as the vendor’s had: abnormal, large, and ravenous. The faces of those around him mimicked his actions, but I didn’t care. That bottle of happiness would be mine. I couldn’t wait to see Lyle again, or to hug the mother I never knew. To meet my father and learn all sorts of things from my grandfather. No one was taking my happiness from me. It was mine.

  Drool spilled from the vendor's mouth as he jumped from his booth and met me in the crowd. He licked his lips like he was about to devour a savory meal.

  "Human hair is hard to find these days," he said, wiping his mouth with one of his glittering cuffs, revealing a wry smile. Grabbing the bottle from the table, he held it out to me.

  My skin tingled as every cell in my body became aware of the glowing bottle before me. It was as if it was a part of me, and I wouldn’t be whole without it. I needed it. I wanted it. Just one little bottle. That was all. One little bottle, and everything would be taken care of. It was all I needed. It was all I wanted.

  The tingling sensation grew more intense, persuading me to reach my hand out toward my happiness. Warmth cloaked my body as I grew closer to my prize. But when the vendor pulled the bottle away, the feeling vanished, leaving me as cold and empty as I had been before. No, colder. I growled at him, and he barred his teeth, handing me a knife instead.

  "The hair, girl," he demanded, his voice turning dark.

  I growled again but took the knife. I needed Lyle to be safe and back with me.

  I bundled my hair in one hand and raised the knife high, using the red ribbon Silas had given me as my mark. The entire crowd's eyes were glued to me. I focused on the little bottle. I needed Silas to smile and enjoy spending time with me. Drool tumbled over my lips and rolled down my chin. I needed Nana to be young and healthy. I needed my parents to be alive.

  I brought the knife down fast as a voice entered my mind: Run, Addie, run.

  I stopped the blade before it cut through the first hairs. What was I doing? I raised my wrist to my chin, feeling the cool saliva on my skin, reminding me of those nights I stayed up too late reading and slept well into the afternoon of the next day. Silas would wake me up, and I was always so embarrassed of the dried spit on my cheek. Wiping it away, I looked at the knife in my hand. The memory of Silas was real, but this desire for me to sacrifice the memory of my mother for false happiness wasn’t. How could I have fallen so easily into Ophidian's trap?

  My grip tightened around the knife, and I took a step back as I watched the vendor’s eyes turn black and his skin change to dark gray. A deep growl escaped his lips.

  Terror seized my heart as I looked into the crowd and saw the woman who had been undressing earlier transform as well. Her once creamy complexion was now dismal as her bright amber eyes dulled to charcoal. I gripped the knife in my hand, not knowing what to do. The vendor and the crowd continued to morph, waiting for my next move. The soft thumping of my frightened heart echoed in my mind.

  Run, Addie, the soft voice rasped once more, and that was all I needed to hear.

  Immediately, I turned and sprinted through the crowd, not looking back at the sounds of their growling, not even when I heard their footsteps gaining on me.

  I had almost reached the clock tower when the echo of shattering glass reached my ears.

  Horrorstruck, I looked back. The bottle of happiness had fallen to the ground, the glass broken into tiny shards as the yellow glow faded into the darkness.

  Breath escaped my lungs. My heart stopped.

  The image of Lyle walking out of Schism’s door, unharmed, with a smile on his face vanished. My mother, whose beautiful hair was long and thick, just like mine, faded. Silas’s beautiful, crooked smile disappeared as if it had never existed. Nana’s youthful appearance was sucked from her body, rendering her frail and broken once more. Tears gathered at my eyes. My happiness was gone.

  I blinked hard, noticing the crowd around me. My happiness was gone because of these people. My shoulders tensed and my eyes narrowed. My skin flamed as I grasped the knife in my hand. They had taken happiness away from me.

  And it was mine.

  All mine, and I wanted it. I needed it.

  Harsh palpitations pounded between my ears as I let out a loud roar and held up the knife, ready to strike. Let them come. I would do anything to get my happiness back.

  The possessed stared at me, their black eyes showing their readiness to devour. But I didn't care. I wanted happiness, and they took it from me. The crowd growled. I growled back.

  I lifted the knife, ready to charge, when a soft beating thumped against my leg. I stopped, feeling the beating again. It was delicate, but powerful.

  Run, Addie, run, the voice whispered, coaxing the pounding of my heart to a steady drum. A cool wind wrapped itself around my flesh, extinguishing my burning anger. Once more, I had been broken out of my trance.

  Shaking off the thoughts of my greed, I spun around, doing my best to ignore the intensified growls behind me. I ran hard and fast.

  Just as I whipped into an alleyway, a hand grabbed my hair and yanked my body backwards. It felt like a thousand needles piercing my scalp. I cried out as the possessed tried to rip my hair from my head. The harder I tried to yank away, the harder they pulled.

  In one swift motion, I swiped the blade behind
me, causing the possessed to jerk away long enough for me to free what was left of my long strands. Their deformed arms rushed toward me again, claws cutting through my skin in a desperate attempt to snatch their prize. Bundling my hair in my fist, I brought the blade down and sliced where Silas’s red ribbon bound it, trying not to remember my mother's beautiful locks or the gift that held mine. I cringed as the knife made its mark on my curls, condemning them to death.

  The possessed were locked onto my every move, drooling pools of saliva onto the stones. I threw my hair into the crowd. They bit and clawed one another, trying to get a single strand.

  I took off running, hoping I was near the end of this horrid Choice. If there was anything I wanted most, it was to get out of here, and fast.

  Chapter 18

  As soon as the thought passed through my mind, a yellow door appeared in the distance with a figure standing in front of it. I shook my head. Of course, I would have to want to leave in order to find the exit.

  I ran until I reached the door, thankful the possessed in the market didn't follow me. Leaning over my knees, I caught my breathe. Claire lifted an eyebrow at me, hands on her hips. "Nice haircut."

  I glared up at her. "Gee, thanks, I did it myself. Added the blood for extra color. Can we get out of here?"

  She held up the frog key in surrender. "Okay, okay, calm down. We're going."

  Claire turned toward the door, then looked back at me over her shoulder with a smug smile. "Are you sure that's what you really want?"

  If my glare could kill, Claire would be dead. She let out a laugh before placing the key in the lock.

  The yellow door creaked inward, revealing tall trees. Relief came over me as Claire picked up the lantern and rod that she had left outside the door. I was ready to be done with the Second Choice. But before she proceeded through the doorway, she held the lantern up to my head and let out a low whistle.

  "They really did a number on you."

  I lifted my hand to feel how much hair I had cut off. As I reached past my shoulders, my stomach dropped. My hair ended at my chin. Though I intended to cut it for trading, I loved knowing I looked like my mother because of my hair. It was the only resemblance I had to her, and I was willing to give it away. And for what? A bottle of happiness? I shook the remainder of my curls while we stepped over the threshold. Happiness couldn't be bottled.

  "All right, let's get you cleaned up before the next Choice," Claire said, pulling out a small bottle and a piece of fabric from her vest pocket.

  I winced as she applied the same green salve to my head as she had used on my leg. It stung at first before numbing the pain.

  "So," she said after a while. "How did it go?"

  "How do you think it went?" I responded curtly.

  Claire chuckled before her lips thinned into a stern line, and her brow furrowed. "Hey, considering what I've seen, you look pretty good."

  I studied the depth of the wrinkle between her brows, realizing it indicated how Ophidian’s Realm had tried to oppress Claire and failed. "What have you seen?"

  She put the cork back in the bottle and sighed. "Things I will never forget." Placing the bottle back in her pocket, she picked up her rod and the lantern before continuing her strong strides forward. I followed.

  "When I was first taken by Ophidian, I couldn't go through the Choices because I didn't have a heart to trade," she said matter-of-factly. “Since Ophidian didn't know what to do with me, I was given the job of opening the doors for the Traders and only open the doors." She jangled the keys dramatically.

  "It was difficult at first." A grim look overcame her face. "The siti were so ravenous for any form of life that as soon as someone walked through the first door, they would attack." She paused and whispered, "So many people were lost because of me, and I didn't even know who they were."

  I thought about offering words of comfort, but I had no idea what to say.

  "Anyway, I was searching for siti when another person walked through the red door. I knew the siti were close and hungry, so I ran toward the stranger, hoping I would save him in time. When I got there, they had surrounded him, breathing in the last drops of life he had from the blood spilling out of his chest."

  "What did you do?" I asked.

  A smirk flickered across her face. "I saved him, just like I saved you. I took him back to my place and cleaned him up. I knew I was disobeying Ophidian's orders, but I couldn't stand to hear the horrible cries of another victim of the siti." She shuddered. "It's a terrible sound when they finish off their prey."

  I cringed, knowing that if Claire hadn't saved me, I would've been lost to the siti, never having a chance to attempt to find Lyle.

  "Once I cleaned and bandaged him, I recognized him." She stopped again to turn and look at me. "Your brother was the first person I saved."

  "You knew Lyle before you got here?" I asked with only mild surprise. After Lyle disappeared and Silas came into my life, I began to wonder if my brother had an entirely separate life from the one I knew.

  Claire nodded, and it may have been the flicker of the lantern, but I could've sworn I saw a tint of pink come into her cheeks.

  "He used to come to my father's office on his way to work at the market and would always explain some new fact he had learned, or how it would be better if we organized the equipment a new way." Claire rolled her eyes with a small smile. "He was extremely smart, even if it was annoying."

  I let out a small laugh. Before his Heart Reign was even a thought, Lyle was always ready to learn. Whenever he discovered something new, he would be engrossed in it until he knew absolutely everything about it. That's why his trade to Schism was so odd. Lyle had never been spontaneous about anything.

  "And I would willingly join him in combat," Claire said sadly as she began walking again. "We would debate about everything: why people traded their hearts, why the chairs were lined up against the wall, why I was wearing a purple sweater. Life was so much simpler then."

  I nodded, wondering if Claire's feelings for my brother were a lot deeper than what she was confessing.

  "I saved him from the siti, but I probably sent him to his death." She gave me an apologetic look. "I had to send him through the Seven Choices." She shook her head. "That stupid idiot traded his heart for a choice, and I'm bound to take anyone through who made that first choice."

  We were silent for a while, the sound of our footsteps padding through the soil of the shadowed forest. The lantern squeaked with each step as it swung from Claire’s fingertips, never failing to light our path.

  I inhaled the cool, damp air before she spoke again. "Why did he do it, Addie?" she whispered. "Why would he ever trade his heart for this?"

  "I don't know." But I wished I knew. I had ideas of why Lyle traded with Schism, but I was never absolutely sure. Not knowing had haunted me for the last seven years. If it hadn't been for Silas, I would have gone mad.

  The image of Silas’s crooked smile flashed through my mind, causing a heaviness to weigh on my heart. I missed Silas. He always made sure I was well fed and protected. He had always been there for me, fixing my home and keeping me company. I never thought I'd see a day when he wasn't around.

  I wished he was here with Claire and me, trying to figure out this puzzle that had no clear answer. Though he wasn’t as analytical as Lyle, Silas always did the honorable thing, no matter what.

  When I was younger, Silas came to my house with a bag full of exotic fruits from Piet. As we rolled them out on the table, he picked one up and placed it back in the bag before leaving without an explanation. After an hour or so, he returned with the bag empty. I asked him if something was wrong, and he replied, “I didn’t pay for eight. I paid for seven.” At that moment, I realized he had walked all the way back to the market to return the extra piece of fruit. Since then, I always relied on his guidance to steer me back on the right path.

  Claire stopped walking and set the lantern down in the dirt.

  "Well, you're following th
e same path as Lyle, that's for sure," she said as she plopped to the ground.

  "What do you mean?" I asked, sitting next to her.

  "You both have this undying perseverance to make it through to the end. Even when things got tough, Lyle made it through to the next door." She rummaged through her pockets, looking for something. "But to be fair, you're going through the Choices a lot faster than he did.”

  I hugged my knees to my chest. "How do you know?"

  "Time flows differently here. It took Lyle what seemed like years to make it through one door. Trust me, I remember the arguments we had during those long times.” She rolled her eyes. “Whereas, for you, it’s only taken a few moments." She shrugged. "I don't know. It may have to do with your big heart."

  "You were with him the whole time?"

  "I tried to be," Claire responded quickly. "I knew I wasn't supposed to, but I couldn’t stand on the sidelines as he came out of each door beaten up." She peered at me. "Seems to be a family trait."

  I frowned at her, then reached up to touch my hair, now sticky with sweat and dried blood. I nodded in agreement. If Claire hadn't fixed my leg and now my head, I didn't know where I'd be.

  "So, I fixed him up as best I could," she continued. “But as he got further into the Choices, he began to forget things."

  My heart trembled against my leg. “Like what?"

  Claire took out a small, yellow bag and started eating some kind of nut. "It was little things at first, like why it was dark and why his chest hurt. I thought he was just exhausted from being here, so I wasn't worried. But when he began to change, I knew something was really wrong."

  My stomach twisted into a knot. "Change?"

  Claire stopped, her hand midway in the bag, as if her mind was searching back to the past. "He couldn't remember who he was. Each time he finished another Choice, he would lose more and more of himself. First it was only forgetting his identity, but then he couldn't remember me." She turned, refusing to look me in the eyes. "What was worse was that he began hitting himself where his heart had been extracted until his chest was black from bruising."